Trusting These Times

13 Sep

In continuing yesterday’s tale, one thing I’ve noticed is that I am acutely aware now of the vast, vast disparities between those that have, and those that have not. I’ve been on both sides. And I’ve certainly not hit rock bottom by any means. We’ve been going through some tough times, but my kids are well taken care of. They enjoy activities at school, they might not get what they want immediately, it may take a couple weeks or a month for me to save the money to buy what they need, but they do get whatever they need.

That being said, I wonder sometimes how other people can get by. I am separated at the moment, not divorced. My husband claims the kids, so I basically am considered “single.” Which means with my salary I don’t qualify for any assistance. Even though I am basically their full-time caregiver. I take care of them from after school until bedtime. All activity driving, most meals. Doctor’s appointments, shopping trips. They are with me. So how do people who make too much for assistance get by when they have to take care of kids too? And your job doesn’t pay nearly enough? It is something I’ve been pondering a lot. I’m not quite to the point where I can pick up an additional part time job yet, but it may be in my future. I just don’t know how to work that out with juggling the kids.

So while pondering these issues I am also acutely aware of the other side as well. The side I used to be on. Now please don’t take this the wrong way, I’m not saying any of this is bad, I, at this point in my life, just find it extremely curious. As an entrepreneur with Blanket Statements and Happy Jack Designs I’m subscribed to many other entrepreneur sites. And the vastness of “things” one can get is just incredible. I’m wondering if I’m embracing this time in my life as a way to see it. To figure out where I want to be in the range of “being-ness.”  I will tell you, being where I am right now is an eye opener. It is something I had never really considered.

Growing up my mother used to tell us we couldn’t have whatever we wanted because someday we wouldn’t have money. And she didn’t want us to be used to having money and whatever we wanted. I’m not quite sure that approach helped me any, but it is an interesting concept. We were upper-middle class growing up. I don’t think anything, though, can really prepare you for the hardships when they occur.

These times challenge you to trust that everything will be alright. All your needs will be met. But it is also a time to re-examine what you thought were your needs. When it comes right down to it, you really don’t have very many.

Don’t know if any of that makes any sense, but I feel better venting it already. And if I do, maybe someone else will too. That is the point, after all. Working it all out.

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