You’re not. You can’t. You won’t ever be.

20 Sep

Short of killing someone, I believe the worst thing one human being can do to another is to make someone feel small: “You’re not,” “You can’t,” “You won’t ever be.” It drives me crazy in any form it appears – from social abuse to abuse of power by governments and corporations.
– Stan Slap


I ran across this quote as a status on a Facebook page this evening. I don’t know Stan Slap, or where the quote came from (although I’ll be looking for it later on) but it really struck a chord with me. When I hear my kids arguing the one thing that just burns me is belittling. My goal is to put a complete stop to that once and for all. That is one of those learned traits that I will not turn a blind eye to and allow to continue.

As I struggle with my ongoing self esteem issues I became acutely aware of belittling. I thought it was normal. Talking about the dumb things mama did, being told I had a pea brain, the amazement at my one good idea, constant correction. Being told no one would ever want to see a 40 year old female bass player. Haha, funny joke. But those comments add up. And pile up. And soon you just give up your spirit and lose yourself. You become invisible.

Imagine my surprise when someone told me they “see” me. I didn’t know what they were talking about. I felt about as tiny and invisible as a defeated spirit could. But someone saw me. Saw the light about to burn out. That is when I started to find myself again. I was surprised, too. I thought my spirit was gone forever. But if there is one thing I can teach my kids – and they will understand it – do not ever let anyone diminish your spirit.

Find those in need. Start “seeing” those people. Build people up. Don’t ever belittle people. Stop the cycle now.


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